Lonely

I was watching tv when it suddenly hit me. I'm lonely.

The odd thing is, this is the life that i've always imagined for myself. I always known that i would end up alone.

am i fullfiling my self prophecy?

have i lived my life, made all those decisions so that i can prove myself right?

crazy!

A year later and i'm still here

still in this state of mind.

i seriously do not want to continue with this life. what is there for me? i'm too coward to take my own life. i came close to it once, i was standing at the beach and thinking how easy it was for me to just walk towards the water, keep on walking until the water is over my head.