blahhhh........

It is tiring pretending to be all cheerpy and happy. when all you want to do is just stay in your dark room and never come out. I wish i can do that, but alas, there are bills to be paid and i can't do anything much now without sending some signals to the others. They will be wondering why am i disposing my stuff.

I guess my sis can handle the rest after i'm gone. she can either give it to my friends or keep it for herself. i dont really much care. whoever that get my things, i hope they will have much more enjoyment out of it than me.

as i was getting ready for bed last night, i sigh loudly ...thinking whether should i just get on with it now rather than waiting. i can't ....i've made promises...i've comitted myself to some events and also the money later can be given to my mom, cause she sure wont get the insurance...

4 more months to go...what agony.....saw him today and he didnt say a word. never acknowledging my presence.